Recently, I watched a movie called Obsession, and I liked it. I don’t recommend it. It’s a psychological horror, and if you’re not comfortable watching that kind of stuff, please do not watch it. I was amazed at how well it was made by Curry Barker.
The story is about a guy who seems nice and kind. He likes a girl but doesn’t dare tell her. He gets a One Willow wish from a gift shop and asks for one wish: for the girl to love him more than anything in the world. At first, the girl seems scary because of how she acts, but as you keep watching, you realize she’s the real victim. She’s a victim of the wish that was placed on her. The guy knows it’s not real, but it’s the wish he asked for, and still he acts like everything is fine.
There was a battle inside that girl—the real girl and the entity that took over her. She was screaming inside and wanted to die because she knew another entity was using her for someone else’s wish. She was with someone she did not love but was compelled to love. It was a tragic place to be, a place where you had no choice, especially not the choice to love someone who loves you.
Love does not keep us hostage or manipulate us to get what it wants.
Watching her struggle against a love she never chose made me think about a question I have wrestled with for years.
Felt Like A Puppet Of The System
I grew up in the church as a PK (Pastor’s Kid). There were things we had to do simply because my dad was a pastor, and we had to maintain a good reputation. I learned the language Christians used and eventually got used to speaking it myself. I went to Bible college, but I often wondered whether I was becoming the person my environment expected me to be. If I had a different upbringing, would I still be following God? If I left the church environment completely, would I still choose Him?
Many times, I felt like a puppet of the system I grew up in, doing church stuff because I had to, not because I wanted to. I felt like I couldn’t share about a bad day because it would mean I didn’t trust God. If something went wrong, I wondered if it was because I had done something wrong and He was making life harder so I would have no choice but to run to Him.
I felt like I was deep in the water, screaming, but no one was listening.
I decided to read about other religions, atheism, and different worldviews to step outside the system I had always known. I thought being a Christian meant good things would happen if I was a good Christian, so I did what I could to be one. Yet life seemed to become harder instead of easier.
Will I still follow Him when there is no one around to see my Christianity? Am I being manipulated by my circumstances to follow Him? The evil thing a god could ever do is to make you love him without allowing you to reject Him
The evil thing a god could ever do is to make you love him without allowing you to reject Him
If you reject him, he would make sure the things you desire in this world never come true simply because you rejected him. But we do not see that in this world. We see people reject Him and still seem happy. We also see people who have accepted Him and yet live miserable lives.
I don’t want to follow Him out of compulsion or because my brain has been conditioned by a system. This is what breeds religious fanatics who have wired their minds with rules instead of intimacy.
This is what breeds religious fanatics who have wired their brain with rules and not intimacy
A Sacred Gift of Free Will in Love
I thanked God because even though He can do anything and nothing is impossible for Him, He gives us a choice to love Him back.
He never forces His love on us.
He lets us be.
He lets us choose.
The person in the movie could make someone love him with a wish. God, who has infinitely more power, chooses not to do that. How beautiful is that? It gives me chills just thinking about it.
So when I love Him, it is real love.
He does not manipulate situations so we have no option but to run to Him. At the same time, He does not do everything for us just to make us fall in love with Him. Religion often does that, but His love lets us be ourselves and gives us the freedom to love Him back.
Love Him imperfectly.
Reject Him if we want to—and people do.
I do it many times.
Yet I have found His love to be patient enough to let me wrestle with Him. I blame Him, and even though He knows He is right and I am wrong, He still lets me blame Him.
He is the only One who could make me love Him, but in His love, He chooses not to.
Love requires a choice.
It requires you to freely choose the One who loves you.
God, who can do anything and for whom nothing is impossible, cannot make us love Him.
